Humor
I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
What joke could orphan's never understand?
Your Mom jokes.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
Yo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
joe mama roast
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.
Midget: Hey! What’s up?
Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.