Humor
Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.
The trip from your eyebrow to your hairline costs $6000.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
Why was the orphan so successful?
Because people always said, "Go big or go home," and he only had one option. 😂🤣
Memes
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
Your hairline is so far back it was friends with the dinosaurs!
My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.
What is the only place fat people live?
Obi-city.
What’s the speed limit in bed?
It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philipe Philope.
Everybody was kung flu dying.
It traveled as fast as lightning.
2020 was expert timing.
In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.