Humor
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
What do you call a shoe made by George Floyd?
The Breath Takers.
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
I’m new
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.
He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"