Humor

"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."

"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."

"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."

"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."

"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."

"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."

"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."

I bullied a handicap today.

What is he gonna do? Stand up for himself?

Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.

An orphanage is like a horse rescue: you rescue them, you rehabilitate them, and then you sell them to the highest bidder.

All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.

Your mom is so fat when she skipped a meal, the whole stock market crashed.

Your mom is so fat she tripped, and I didn’t even laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Saw that shit on Roblox.

One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"

What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?

Man, you are really on edge.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because these jokes are not funny.

Here's why the chicken crossed the road...

The chicken was on the run from a crazy-ass butcher ready to murder the poor thing, so the chicken crossed the road. The chicken was crossing the road, then a blind kid saw the chicken, and the kid was hit by a flying rock, his vision was blurred (what vision?) and was actually cured of the blind. The chicken ran and jumped into a truck's opening and was never seen again... The kid got up from the ground and looked at the road, to see the chicken was not there, and said..." The chicken crossed the road...." The kid yelled at everyone about the chicken crossing the road and got a lot of positive attention. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit were full of the chicken nonsense and gained widespread attention from N.A to Asia in only 1 day.

The butcher was arrested for the attempted murder of a joke animal and was sentenced to over 20 years in solitary confinement, and a few weeks later, the sentence was moved to a life sentence, and the butcher became known as The ChicKiller.

The End (hope you enjoyed, I was bored so I made this shit...)

Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"

How do you know if you have a high sperm count?

She chews before she swallows.

Want to hear a joke about pizza?

Never mind, it's too cheesy.

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.

What is the worst comedy for disabled people?

Stand-up comedy!

Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.

They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”

I find that a lot of butts CRACK me up.

Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."

Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"

What do you call a religious drug addict?

A crystal methodist.

What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.