Humor
Actually, Iron Man is female.
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.
He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
Memes
Why do skeletons hate wind? Because it goes right through them!
Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.
Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.
The trip from your eyebrow to your hairline costs $6000.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
Why was the orphan so successful?
Because people always said, "Go big or go home," and he only had one option. 😂🤣
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
Your hairline is so far back it was friends with the dinosaurs!
My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.