Humor
Why the f was my shooting joke removed? It was funny, and this is obviously a website for morbid humor. WTF, I mean, worstjokesever.com. Come on...
When her head game is so strong, she sucks the chromosome right out of you.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Before the chicken or the egg, there was only Chuck Norris.
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
What's the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?
Baby Jesus died a virgin.
What is the definition of African-American Vienna sausages?
cocks of African-American men
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.
What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
How can toilet paper decorate your house?
Shit sticks everywhere.
Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.