Humor
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
How can toilet paper decorate your house?
Shit sticks everywhere.
*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.
What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.
Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"
Memes
Shresh
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
I bought a coffin on Black Friday. It was a killer deal.
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hey Donut.
Why was it so hot in a square room? Because all the corners are 90 degrees.
What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?
Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?
Because it got everybody's pokes!
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
What joke could orphan's never understand?
Your Mom jokes.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)