Humor
What do you call an orphan with a boner?
Porn.
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Why the f was my shooting joke removed? It was funny, and this is obviously a website for morbid humor. WTF, I mean, worstjokesever.com. Come on...
What happens at night in Bangladesh?
It gets Dhaka.
Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?
He couldn’t stand anyone...
Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
When her head game is so strong, she sucks the chromosome right out of you.
Before the chicken or the egg, there was only Chuck Norris.
What's the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?
Baby Jesus died a virgin.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
What is the definition of African-American Vienna sausages?
cocks of African-American men
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.