You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?
But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.
Health Jokes
Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
I broke my arm yesterday. My bro said it is Arm-ageddon, and I still don’t know why.
You know how all zodiacs have hairstyles... well not Cancers.
My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.
What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?
Breathing exercises.
I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!
What did the bird go to the hospital for?
For tweetment!
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-
A skeleton walks into the hospital and said: "Doctor, Doctor, I broke my leg!" The doctor said: "I see..."
Friend: You ok, man?
Me: Yea... I'll just leave myself "hangin'" tonight...
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
Doctor: What is your zodiac sign?
Patient: Cancer, why?
Doctor: What are the chances?
Patient: Of what?
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.
