Health

Health jokes

Sugar

    • Johnny Johnny?

    Yes pa pa.

    Eating sugar?

    Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.

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    • Cancer

    • You know what's the worst about having a daughter with cancer?

    You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back.

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    • Memory Loss

    • "Having too much sex can result in memory loss."

    I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.

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    • Health memes

    Boob

    • Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...

    I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.

    Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.

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    • Mom

    • Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?

    Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.

    Pinocchio

    • Pinocchio goes to the doctor for a checkup. When he gets there, the doctor asks him, "Do you have cancer?" Pinocchio replies, "That was very straight up, but no, I’m pretty sure I don’t have cancer." After saying this, his nose grew.

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    • Kid

    • Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?

    He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.

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