Health jokes

Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.

Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

Erectile dysfunction.

I drank some dye before, but don't worry, I've only dyed a little inside.

A skeleton walks into the hospital and said: "Doctor, Doctor, I broke my leg!" The doctor said: "I see..."

Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.

Son: Really?

Also 2 hours later:

Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.

Mom: Son, I-

Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.

A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”

What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.

I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO. (Don't bother to like or comment, I just had to say this.)

What does a blind man and your dick have in common?

They both can’t get up without a dog.

I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.

Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"

Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.

My fitness guru said that if I got raped, it would help me in future marathons.

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.

You're so fat, when you step on a scale it says, "To be continued."

What did the doctor say to the Chinese man?

"Some ting wong."

Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic.

Plus, she's too young to smoke.

This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.

Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."