What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
Health Jokes
What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?
Tragic Johnson.
What did the green grape say to the purple one?
"Calm down and take a breath."
Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa?
Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!
Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.
The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.
Yo mama so ugly,
they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
What time did the man go to the dentist at? Two-thirty.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What is a fat boy's favorite karate move?
A pork chop.
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."
Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.
I drank some dye before, but don't worry, I've only dyed a little inside.
How did the tree get sick?
It got tinsel-itis.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
