Health jokes
Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period?
She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!
Your mum is so fat she eats all day!
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
Doctor: "I have good news and I have worse news." Patient: "Well, what's the bad news?" Doctor: "You have one day left to live." Patient: "What news could possibly be worse?" Doctor: "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday!"
I would tell a scoliosis joke.
But that would be completely out of line.
Friend: I got bit.
Other friend: By what?
Friend: A dog.
Other friend: (Runs away and the next day you know everyone is wearing a mask and the friend gets expelled because of rabies.)
My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!
Canada has free health care, here is a link to some Canada Facts! https://www.1stcontact.com/blog/20-interesting-facts-about-canada
I go to Venice to get a bigger penis.
Q: What is the hardest part of a cabbage?
A: Wheelchair.
If your corona test shows two lines, is that then positive or negative?
Yo mama so FAT... I tried to picture her in my head... AND SHE BROKE MY GOD DAMN NECK!
What song is sung when conceiving?
"Let's Get Physical, Physical!"
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
What's the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair! ♿
I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.
Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.