Hooker jokes
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”
What's the difference between my dad and a hooker?
Hookers come back.
Why did the hooker quit her job?
She had a nut allergy.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
There's a blind hooker in town.
She never sees anyone coming.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
Whats the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead hookers, i don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"
What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?
Cantonese...
I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?
I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.
Why do orphans become hookers?
They can call someone daddy.
Why did the hooker fall in love? Stockholm syndrome.
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.
I will give you a nickel if you tickle my nickel pickle, Rick.