Hooker Jokes

Whats the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead hookers, i don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What's the difference between my dad and a hooker?

Hookers come back.

What's the difference between hooker and a mosquito?

The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.

Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

what's the difference between your job and a dead hooker? your job still sucks

What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker? I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.

Why do Orphans become Hookers? They can call someone daddy.

A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint…my….house.’

How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, cause they'll screw anything

why did the hooker quit her job?

she had a nut allergy

They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love. I had to pay a hooker for, twelve hours work. ... I felt nothing, but its was nice, being with someone who felt the same.

Whats the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H" but we all know what one we would like to do.

what shoes do pedofiles wear? White vans. How do pedofiles fit in? They force it to go in. How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedofile comes in. What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"

What's the difference between an onion and a hooker? I cry when I chop up onions

What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.

Hookers are like drive thrus you tell them what you want, pay for your shit, and leave

What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?

A Sandy Hooker

What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist? If you want a hooker to be a bitch you have to give her money first.

What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?

The look on their face when your nailing them