Bed

Bed Jokes

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,

One fell off and bumped his head.

The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...

“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”

Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.

I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.

8

Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.

Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.

If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning

Billy: I'm so use to having you in bed with me, I don't know if I'm ready for this long distance relationship

Sally: Ohh, don't worry brother, I'll just be right down the hall...