When I have a staring contest, I always win. Everyday, I see blind people who hate me.
Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother. Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella, the next day, your in court and Cinderella is the witness. ( P.S. she was born to be a drama queen. )
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom,I checked inside her ham sandwich and there was fresh drugs.
The pie tasted weird today. Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie WITH human flesh from C town.
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said “Your sister is dead!” sadly. The girl asked “She was skinny, right?” The mom said yes. The sister laughed “I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!”
In the cute fantasies: Est-ce que tu manges du poulet ? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN !!!!! In reality: Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!
Mom asks “Why are you are THIS show??? It’s DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!” The child says “Don’t you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?” Mon whispers “Oh, you DEAD.”
You were sad because your grandmother died. The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
My cousin’s friend spelled “rasist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”