Grape Jokes

sell farm
in Self Harm

what’s the difference between a grape, apple and an arm?

you don’t slice a grape

Daniel King

Why did Ms Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr Grapes 🍇?

Because she loves raisin kids.

Daniel King

What does Mrs Grapes 🍇 love the most?

Raisin kids.

Anonymous
in Purple

‘Who was purple and wanted to rule the world? Alexander the Grape.’

The Special

3 europeans come to America. They all get captured by native americans and they want to kill them. But the europeans beg to have their lives spared. The native americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The native american says "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the native americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The native american tells him the same thing. He laughs and the native american kills him. They both see eachother in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy so thats why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yea I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”

Gwen

(Tripple Pun)

       What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?

Raisin are kids is usually pretty fun, but some times they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin.

Lalalaladadalada
in Puns

The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin the bars…

Daniel King

Why wouldn’t Mrs Grapes 🍇 leave her children behind?

Because she loves raisin kids.

Daniel King

What is purple and wines when it’s squished?

A bunch of grapes! 🍇😂

Zane Beson

What did the grape say when the Meerkat steped on it

It sayed nothing just let out a little wine

What makes Mrs Grape 🍇 a good mother?

Raisin her kids

Anonymous

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe… Breathe…

Anonymous
in Fruit

what happens to grapes when you step on them? they wine

Aly the jokester
in Fox

what did the grape say when the fox stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine

What do grapes 🍇 love most about family?

Raisin kids!

3 europeans come to America. They all get captured by native americans and they want to kill them. But the europeans beg to have their lives spared. The native americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The native american says “Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you.” So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the native americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The native american tells him the same thing. He laughs and the native american kills him. They both see eachother in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, “I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy so thats why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?” The second guy says, “Oh yea I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”

sjsksjs

Look at a bag of black grapes. See how dark they are? That’s how I like my men.

25 at a time.

0
Pistacio

What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine

Jimbob

3 men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live, only if they could achieve one thing. They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each. The first person returned with apples, the leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1…2 he screamed. The next person came back with grapes, 1,2,3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing, he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well, “well i saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples”

MinnieHAHA

What did the the purple grape say to the green grape? "BREATH YOU IDIOT BREATH!" Geddit? GeeditTT?