Health jokes
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?
He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"
Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa?
Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
Memes
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have 10 left."
The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?"
The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."
Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.
The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.
This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.
Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten.
Man: Weeks? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
Erectile dysfunction.
Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
What comes after 69?
Mouthwash.
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic.
Plus, she's too young to smoke.
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
You know how all zodiacs have hairstyles... well not Cancers.