Health jokes
Why are hospitals always freezing?
They need to keep the vegetables cold.
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?
He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."
My brother said, "You want a cookie?"
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."
I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
Erectile dysfunction.
Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa?
Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have 10 left."
The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?"
The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."
Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.
The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.
Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
What did the green grape say to the purple one?
"Calm down and take a breath."
You have a problem with jokes about dementia? That's funny, I don't remember asking.