Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
Health Jokes
What comes after 69?
Mouthwash.
I think I'm colorblind. News came out of purple.
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic.
Plus, she's too young to smoke.
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten.
Man: Weeks? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...
What did the doctor say to the Chinese man?
"Some ting wong."
This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.
Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not...
A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.
What vibrates and is 6 inches?
A toothbrush.
Why do people poop?
Because it we need to!
Why did the dumb blonde pee inside the condom?
Because the doctor told the dumb blonde that the dumb blonde was going to get a urine test!
I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.
I eat cockroaches.
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Hey, how ya doin'?
Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.
Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.
Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.
