Health jokes
Jig, Jill, Bill ate a pill.
Leukophobic people don’t have sex. Leukophobia is the fear of white.
What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?
Your mum.
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
You're so skinny you never gain weight. You're so skinny you're a thin stick.
My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my H.I.V. test without studying.
Yo mama so fat that she's social distancing from herself.
Why does Africa have no pharmacies? Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?
Mashed potatoes.
Yo mama so fat that she should be worried for her health and go see a doctor.
What did the dentist say to the butt?
"That's the largest cavity I've ever seen!"
Every zodiac sign has a hairstyle, except Cancer.
Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.
I did a good walk and I...
When you pull out, but the baby's face turns blue.
What is an obese lady's blood type?
Nutella.
If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!
Stephen Hawking has enough money to stand up, but can’t grab the money.
A woman walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs.
The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea with that." The woman replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."
Make a wish.
Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.
Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!