I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me when he was dying.
It seemed really important to him that I have it.
What do you call a peanut on the allergy table?
A kill streak.
Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.
Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
My friend died from an allergic reaction. He gave me an EpiPen while he was dying, so now I have something to remember him from.
Why did the hooker quit her job?
She had a nut allergy.
I don't think I'm allergic to this.
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.
We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!
I'm hertophobic -
aka I'm allergic to all straight guys.
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
What foods are orphans allergic to? Homemade food.
Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.
I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.
I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.
I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
Somebody give me a peanut. I just ate an EpiPen.
"hvhuhdsjcjdsijdskdsivhdsvhsjdvnsjdvdshvgdshgsdhfgh" That's what my friend said when he gave an EpiPen. I don't know why, though.
What's bad? A nut allergy.
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table 25+ kill streak
