Allergy

Allergy Jokes

EpiPen

I have an EpiPen.

My friend gave it to me when he was dying.

It seemed really important to him that I have it.

  • 2
  • Bullshit

    Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.

    Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.

    EpiPen

    My friend died from an allergic reaction. He gave me an EpiPen while he was dying, so now I have something to remember him from.

  • 0
  • Pen

    My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.

    We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!

    Kid

    There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!

  • 1
  • Dairy

    What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?

    Non-buy dairy.

    Reaction

    One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.

    Orphan

    I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.

    I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"

    Count

    I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.

    I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.

    EpiPen

    "hvhuhdsjcjdsijdskdsivhdsvhsjdvnsjdvdshvgdshgsdhfgh" That's what my friend said when he gave an EpiPen. I don't know why, though.