Health

Health jokes

Friend

    • If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.

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    • Woman

    • What's the difference between a plane and a woman?

    At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.

    Rape

    • Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?

    Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."

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    • Virus

    • "Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."

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    • Health memes

    Surgeon

    • My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"

    He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.

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    • Autism

    • The best part about having autism is being able to make jokes about genociding autistic people and no one can say a damn thing.

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    • Guy

    • So anyway, this old guy goes to the doctors. The doctor says, "It's bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimer's." The old guy replies, "At least I've not got cancer!"

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    • Death

    • What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?

    Cot death.

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    • Asylum

    • Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.

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