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Puns

puppy

I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday

Puns

Dank puns

I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

Means

Anonymous

Surveys say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means the 5th one likes it.

Puns

Overwatch_Gamer321

Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.

Life

Yes

People say that life is short I say… Life is the longest thing we ever do

Bad

Cael J.

My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.

Time

Anonymous

I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.

Depression

Hangy boi

Why can’t depressed people leave the maze?

Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.

Poor

Pistacio

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.

Then they call me ugly and poor

Die

Ashton grace

30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way the first lady she was obsessed with her looks so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish the next person didn’t know what to wish for so they wish for the same thing the guy in the very back was laughing having a grand old time then god got to the person before the last he aaid the same he wished to be beautiful when God got to the last person he said I want them all to be ugly again.

Face

Anonymous

I hate 2 faced people because I don’t know which face to slap first.

Time

Anonymous

What do suicidal people do in their spare time?

Hang out.

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Difference

Anonymous

What’s the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don’t get angry when you toss a salad.

Difference

Anonymous

What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? – People in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.

Puns

Light

Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

Baby

billy teh moot

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.

White

Nathan Claunch

A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”

Kid

Cranbox

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read “its a bumpy road but soon u will have a straight path.” People didnt realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

Fish

Anonymous

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

Depression

Anonymous

They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless

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