I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
I hate 2 faced people because I don't know which face to slap first.
Surveys say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means the 5th one likes it.
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.
People say that life is short I say... Life is the longest thing we ever do
I named my dog 5-Miles, so now I tell people, "I walk 5-Miles every day."
My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.
Why can't depressed people leave the maze?
Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.
What do suicidal people do in their spare time?
Hang out.
30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way the first lady she was obsessed with her looks so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish the next person didn't know what to wish for so they wish for the same thing the guy in the very back was laughing having a grand old time then god got to the person before the last he aaid the same he wished to be beautiful when God got to the last person he said I want them all to be ugly again.
If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.
The more suicidal people there are, the fewer suicidal people there are.
I like my humor like my people. Well done.
Some people think prison is one word, but to robbers, it's a whole sentence.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
