Cookbook

Cookbook jokes

Job

  • I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

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    Stereotype

  • I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.

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    Book

  • A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

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  • Bomb

  • I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.

    I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"

    He gave me a book.

    It was the Quran.

    I said, "What the hell is that?"

    He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."

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    Roadkill

  • My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.

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  • Oven

  • Nobody

    Literally nobody

    Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?

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    Mother

  • My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help me understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So, me with my horrible humor, decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around, and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are, a fine African meal." Then everybody looked at me in disappointment, and then I continued to say, "What? Poor taste?"

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