Hair Jokes

Jesse

A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas

Kit-Kat
in Step

10 Fun Facts 1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breath through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 6. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 7. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 8. You skipped number 5. 9. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 10. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)

Anonymos
in Puns

Why do bees have sticky hair

They always use honeycombs

Anonymous
in Puns

How does the man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipes it!

0
Anonymous
in Blonde

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?

Artifical Intelligence

Daniel King
in Bee

What do bees 🐝 brush their hair with?

A honeycomb.

Anonymous
in Animal

Where did the sheep get a hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.

1
Anonymous
in Depression

I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself

3
Anonymous

Sign outside a hair salon: We'll color your hair or dye trying.

I gave a blind kid a gun telling him it was a hair drier.

Boi
in People

A husband and a wife have four children the oldest three are tall with blonde hair, the youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said “honey, can you be completely honest with me, is our youngest son mine?” The wife says “I swear to all that is holy he is your son.” Then the husband died and the wife muttered, “thank god he didn’t ask about the other three.”

3
M Miner
in Puns

How does the moon cut his hair........Eclipse it!!!!!

Anonymous
in Bald Eagle

why is the bald eagle bald?

because it has no hair

it has feathers. LOL

7
J0K35
in Cow

Teacher: Describe a penguin

Student: Black, White, Beak

Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan

Student: Sad, maybe depressed, No family

Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow

Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes

Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?

Student: It describes you tho.

Gu-u-uar-fie-e-eld

Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone.

Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

Man: Your hair color is fabulous. Woman: Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store.

Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Go back to sleep.

Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you to leave.

Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop.

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Man: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Woman: I hate you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

4
Timber
in Dad

1.You can´t wash you´re eyes with soap 2.You can´t count you´re hair 3.You can´t breathe through you nose with youre tongue out 4.You just tried number three 5.When u tried number 3 u realized it was possible only u look like a dog 6.Youre smileing right now because you relized you were fooloed 7.you skipped number 5 8.you just checked if there was a number 5 9.This is not my joke all credit goes to steps

Instagram @yfn_unkn0wn

A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.

Gorgon

Why were the 1800s so crazy?

Because of Hairriet Tubman.

I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.

Jo-Nathan d'Urberville
in Hare

A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit, he slams on his brakes, gets out and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired. A passing car slams on it’s brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny pulls out an aerosol can and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The Bunny jumps up runs a few feet, then stops, turns around and waves it’s paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight. The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says “Wow that is amazing, what is in that can” the man looks at the can and reads the label “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave”.

Anonymous

Of a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment....