yo mama so fat her yearbook picture was a double page spread
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left. The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?” The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest. On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesnt experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place." So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his Re-seeding Heirline.
Id make a joke about pizza, but its too cheesy. I know yall have too thick of a crust to get it!
Boss: how good are you at powerpoint? Me: I Excel at it. Boss: Was that a microsoft pun? Me: Word
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
One day, i was just chillin, being a tower. I saw a plane, but it was slowly growing. Then it hit me.