Health jokes
Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.
Son: Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother had diabetes.
Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?
A: Tumor.
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
...maybee
When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.
Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."
People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.
Mikey don't clean his foreskin dude straight gay.
You've got a body inside you. It's called your bones.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
Me and my cancer
Are like a game of Fortnite.
I’ll never win.
Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"
Jimmy: "That's great!"
Doctor: "A horse with cancer."
ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hey Donut.
When I went to the doctor, he pulled his wife in and said, "What do you see?"
I replied, "A fat bitch." He said, "Ok, your eyesight is perfect."
Q. What do you call a hooker in a vegetative state? A. A thot incapable of thought.
Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.
Isn't It Purrfect!
What's green and has a thousand nipples?
A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.