You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.
Blade Jokes
Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.
Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.
I downloaded Fruit Ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself.
God creating cats.
GOD: Make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of.
ANGEL: Ok.......................................anything else?
GOD: YES, PUT RAZOR BLADES ON ITS FEET!!!!!!!!
what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
What is the difference between me and a knife?
The knife has a point.
All you need is a razor blade in life.
what's flat and great for cutting? me.
Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.
Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.
I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...
I'm going to draw a picture. A picture with a twist. I'll draw it with a razor blade. I'll draw it on my wrist.
What does a killer say in the shower in the morning?
- Splish splash, I'm gonna slash...
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?
An erection!
A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?
The helicopter blade!
I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.
Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.