Health jokes
You're so fat that when you went outside, you broke the 2-meter rule for COVID.
I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.
Doctor: Oh, I see.
Me: Ahhhh!!!!!
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
Your hairline is gone because you never bathed or brushed.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."
The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.
The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.
Who is the blindest person in the world?
He slips, he falls, he dislocates his balls!
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?
He's all right now.
Why are 10-pin bowlers always in pain?
Because their balls have holes in them.
Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother.
Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.
"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.
"Why?" I asked.
My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"
Yo mama so fat that she's social distancing from herself.
Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."
The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together!
What is a girl's favorite song when they are on their period?
"Period, oh period, oww!"
Me: Knock, knock.
Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?
What can run, be an eyesore, and practice social distancing?
Your hairline.
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
Health feed fights grand gucxsrdcjcgfdz taxicab heaven reflection during harvesting.