Health jokes
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.
Why does Aaron eat burgers on a Wednesday? Because his spine is bent, and his favorite gun in Apex Legends is the G7 Scout, and he uses the speedy Spanish man.
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.
Why are 10-pin bowlers always in pain?
Because their balls have holes in them.
Memes
ADHD
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."
The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.
The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.
Why are kids so skinny?
Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.
A few years ago I had a brush with cancer...
All of the bristles fell out!
If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?
Why are uncles like curries?
Because bad ones hurt your asshole.
Who is the blindest person in the world?
When the kid in the wheelchair scares you... you wheelie scared me.
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
Your hairline is gone because you never bathed or brushed.
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!
Life's like a box of chocolates. Doesn't last long for fat people.
I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.
Doctor: Oh, I see.
Me: Ahhhh!!!!!
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.
"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.
"Why?" I asked.
My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"