Water

Aha

Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water

Who else would think of adding gas

Cry

12345

Why did the noble gas cry?

Because all his friends Argon.

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Price

Anonymous

the gas prices are going up that even Hitler is killing himself

Time

Josiah

One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Woman

Skyon Archer

An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas. “I don’t understand it, Doc”, she said, “I have this terrible, terrible gas”. “Thankfully”, she added, “they are at least silent when I fart”. Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him. The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. “I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!”, she yelled. The doctor said, “well, now that we’ve solved your hearing problem, let’s see what we can do about that gas”.

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Poor

Anonymous

Yo mama so dumb. She sold her car for gas money.~~ Yo mama so poor the ducks throw bread at her.

Puns

Anonymous

Why didn’t anyone react when the king farted? – It was a noble gas.

0

Sadness

VEN-CI

The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?

1

Turtle

Anonymous

What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?

He went to the Shell station.

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Breath

John

My mom said the happier a person is when sick the sooner they get better.

So I went to the hospital hooked up everyone’s breathing masks to laughing gas.

0

Forehead

Anonymous

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow

[Chorus:] Hey, now, you’re an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you’re a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

It’s a cool place and they say it gets colder You’re bundled up now wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water’s getting warm so you might as well swim My world’s on fire. How about yours? That’s the way I like it and I’ll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

Fart

white

So we were working with a new client at work and my boss farts, he said "a little gas never killed anyone

0

High

Anonymous

Why did hitler kill him self? His gas bill was to high

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Fart

Anonymous

If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

Eating

Daniel King

What do you get when you eat a hamburger 🍔😋? Mustard gas.

Adoption

turd boi420

Why was the fart on Kickstarter? He just needed some gas.

Beach

Anonymous

Three women- a blonde, a brunette and a redhead- are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two two hours later their vehicle dies with no gas and they’re forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them. The brunette brings canteens of water. The redhead takes a large beach umbrella. The Blonde somehow rips off the car door. The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?" To which the blonde replied, “So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot.”

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Fart

Jayce

Why did a cheetah fart it needed more gas.

Fart

Anonymous

what do you call onions and beans tear gas

Japanese

Anonymous

How do you get a Japanese fanclub?

Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!