Go

Go jokes

Basement

    • I had to go to my friend's house.

    I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???

  • 1

    • Ligma

    • Me: Hey, are you going to Sawcon?

    Sensei: What is that?

    Me: Saw con deez nu...

    Sensei: Oh, is it for people with ligma?

    Me: What’s ligm...

    Sensei: 😈

    Me: no no no no

    Sensei: Ligma ba...

  • 1
    • Go memes

    Cow

    • Q: If there were two moo cows walking down the street, where would they be going?

    A: Home to see their mama!

    Midget

    • This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."

  • 2

    • Pedophile

    • Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.

    When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."

    His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"

    Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"

    10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"

  • 0

    • Father

    • A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back.

    The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.

    Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.

    A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.

    At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

    Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.

    After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

    Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.

    As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”

    “No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”

  • 3

    • Depression

    • Teacher: "People with depression never get anywhere in life."

    Student 1: "My mom has depression, but she died."

    Student 2: "My sister has depression and she's going to therapy."

    Student 3: "My dad has depression, and he's doing REALLY well."

  • 3

    • Mom

    • So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.

  • 0