My mom told me drugs are my enemies... but Jesus said to love your enemies
I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all
My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said You better comeback with a goddamn sandwich
I called the rape advice line last night turns out its just for victims
A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight" He was priest.
Why was the orphan so successful? Because once someone told him go big or go home and he only had one option.
I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.
Follow,me if you need advice or just follow mee
I wanted to be an astronaut but my parents always told me when I was little that the sky was the limit.
Why did the orphan go to church? To hear some "foster" Parenting advice.
Guys help- i need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being fr rn guys help
People trying too stop me from being depressed: “Just cheer up!”
Me: “WOW I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT”
My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”
Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So I crashed the car.
my grandma always said, slow and steady wins the race. she died in a fire.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking
Tell her to slow down and use lubricant
Don't ever tell somebody depressed to try again.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said "I inherited a watering hole." Bewildered I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?" "I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
My grandma was telling me to be positive. As i was going in for an aids test
