Truck Jokes

Whoozy Guy87

There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl’s house. When he got there, he said to her father “thank you for this moment, have a great night”. At the dance, the girl asks the boy, “can I have some food?” He gladly replies “yes” and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, “thank you so much, I really needed something to eat”. Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, “thank you SOOOO much” Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, “what is it?” She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.

7
XDAOE
in Blonde

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.” She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word “comfortable.” Skeptical, the operator asks, “How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?” The redhead replies, “She’s a blonde so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull.’”

Therapist: so what brought you here today? wife: he’s too literal Therapist: and you sir? husband: my truck

Josiah
in Chuck Norris

One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

0
Anonymous

what is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?

U can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitch fork.

8
Anonymous

I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

0
Big Boy Truck Man
in Puns

All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks

A pinch of dark humor

When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

8
TheAbyss
in Accident

A class is being taught when Bill Clinton walks in. He asks the class, " What is a tragedy?" One kid, named Jim, raises his hand and says, “if my family and I got ran over by a truck, that would be a tragedy.” Bill Clinton replies, “That would be an accident, not a tragedy.” A couple of seconds later, Audrey raises her hand and says, “If a school shooting would happen and 10 kids died, that would be a tragedy.” Bill Clinton replies once again with: “That would be a great loss, not a tragedy.” All of the kids are confused now when all of a sudden Matthew says “If you and Hillary Clinton were on an airplane and it got blown up, that would be a tragedy!” “Yes!” Says Bill Clinton “How do you know?” Matthew says happily, “It is definitely not an accident, and certainly not a great loss!”

4
Anonymous

What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.

3

What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck!

in Dark Humor

When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Anonymous

Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don’t know they have? Like “Blue truck dude”, “Loud dog guy”, “Nice old lady with the rose bushes”, “That slut across the street”,

Anonymous
in Car

a truck carrying vicks vaporub overturned on the highway, amazingly there was no congestion for 8 hours strait

Anonymous

what did the traffic light say to the truck

don’t look I’m about to change

Donald Trump
in Little Johnny

little Johnny is my son and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a burger king whopper to Moscow then take revenge for little Johnny!!!

Adrian
in Sister

One day my mom told me to take out the trash and I did . The next day mom asked me where is your sister and I said a garbage truck took her. Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left

Anonymous

Why did Joey drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. (Don’t worry, the truck was fine.)

0

i didnt mean to call a afghanistan Hotline, i told them i was Depressed then they asked if i know how to drive a truck idk how that has anything to do with it

tegan

What bounces up and down at 100mph?

A baby tied to the back of a truck.