Atheism jokes

Steven Hawking said there is no God,

Then God said there is no Steven Hawking.

Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?

A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.

What does B.I.B.L.E. stand for?

Bull Shit In Book Lacking Evidence.

Does it cycle now?

"'There is no God.' - Stephen Hawking (2011)

'There is no Stephen Hawking.' - God (2018)"

I moved all the Bibles to the fiction section because there is no God, as said Stephen Hawking in 2011, but in 2018, God said there was no Stephen Hawking.

If I was God, my parents would be anesthetists.

There is no god. None, not one.

God took away Stephen Hawking's privileges.

Stephen Hawking said there is no God.

2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.

In 2011, Stephen Hawking said God didn’t exist.

In 2018, God said Stephen Hawking didn’t exist. xx 😂😂

"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.

The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.

"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"

"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.

The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.

"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.

What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?

Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?

Computers don’t really have a specific religion.

God is fake.

Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.

Heterosexual sodomy is like religion. If you were forced to accept it when you were younger, you probably would not like it when you become an adult.

I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."

I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"

I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.

Which makes me an eighth-theist.