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3 europeans come to America. They all get captured by native americans and they want to kill them. But the europeans beg to have their lives spared. The native americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The native american says "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the native americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The native american tells him the same thing. He laughs and the native american kills him. They both see eachother in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy so thats why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yea I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”

So is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable??

What do you call a gay drive by? A fruit roll up.

What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?

I don’t put fruit in a blender.

What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?

The Devil’s advocado.

What is beethoven’s favorite fruit? Ba na na na

Fruit is like ex-wives…

They both look really good hanging from a tree.

How do you make a fruit punch? 🍎 You give it a pair of boxing gloves. 🥊

What does an apple and a gay have in common?

Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.

What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?

A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana

What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐

Yo’ Mama is so ugly, she makes onions cry.

My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.

What fruit always feels depressed?

A blue-berry.

Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?

So it could have sweet dreams.

John say a Gay in a wheel chair

“I didn’t know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable”

What is a vampire’s favourite fruit?

A nectarine

what do you call a gay drive by ?

a fruit roll up.


If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose tell his family he/she was a fruit now he/she’s a vegetable at least there still in the produce section

If your boyfriends doesn’t get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.