Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?

It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.

if tomatoes are fruit does that mean ketchup is a smoothie

How do you make a fruit punch? 🍎 You give it a pair of boxing gloves. 🥊

What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?

A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana

3 europeans come to America. They all get captured by native americans and they want to kill them. But the europeans beg to have their lives spared. The native americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The native american says "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the native americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The native american tells him the same thing. He laughs and the native american kills him. They both see eachother in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy so thats why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yea I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”

What fruit always feels depressed?

A blue-berry.

What is beethoven’s favorite fruit? Ba na na na

What’s the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One screems when you out it in a blender and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.

What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?

The Devil’s advocado.

What do you call a gay drive by? A fruit roll up.

Why did the banana like the movie
Because it was apeeling

Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said “Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion”. The first guy came back with 10 apples and by the second one he started to grunt so he was killed and eaten. The second one came back with cherries and when he went to put the 10th one in he started to laugh so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven and the first guy said" dude you were so close what happened?" The second one said" I would have made it but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!"😝😝🤣🤣

if I was to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel “crummy”

What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?

I don’t put fruit in a blender.

My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.

Why is the orange 🍊 the fastest fruit?

Because it never runs out of juice.

Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?

So it could have sweet dreams.

How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?

  • Come post!

3 men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live, only if they could achieve one thing. They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each. The first person returned with apples, the leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1…2 he screamed. The next person came back with grapes, 1,2,3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing, he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well, “well i saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples”

So is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable??

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