As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life change when I found out she was under the horse.

a man died with an erection. the three nurses in the morgue saw this the first nurse climbs on and rides him. the second nurse dose the same the third hesitates saying “i’m on my period.” the others say its ok hes dead so she rides him to. when she’s done he sits up and all the nurses ask how hes alive he replies i’m good to go after the two jumpstarts and blood transfusion

What do a fat chick and a moped have in common?

They’re both fun to ride until your friends find out.

Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?

Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded

a boy walks in on his mother riding his father. “What are you doing?”, the boys asks his mother. “I’m jumping on daddy to make him thin”,said the mother. Don’t bother", said the boy," when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again"

What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle? I’m bone to be wild!

what’s the hardest part of riding a scooter ?

telling you parents you are gay

Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Wanna go ride a bike?

Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner." The first lady says, “2 years, 2 side-hoes.” She got an old lexus. The second lady says, “10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute.” She got a Mercedes-Benz. The third lady says, "I never had a husband." The angel says in response, “Fck me and then you can have a lambo." They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying. The first lady says, “I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse.” “How!?” The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a dck!”

Why can’t Cleopatra ride a bicycle? Because she’s dead.

What is the difference between a Flat tire bicycle and a Woman, answer, You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride on it, while a woman you need to ride on her and pump.

Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?

She didn’t see anything wrong with it

There were these three men, their names were Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day they were riding in their car and Shit fell out so Manners went out to pick shit up and shut up went to the police station. when he got there the police officer said “What’s your name son?” and Shut up said “Shut up.” the officer replies with “Ummm…excuse me?!” and shut up said “Shut up!” and the officer said “Boy, where are your manners?” and Shut up said “Round the corner picking up Shit!”

I was always to I’m to small to ride but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5

Micheal Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture…Tonya says…“I’ll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3 year olds”

Viagra is a lot like amusement parks…

It’s a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.

A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday stays three days and leaves on Friday how is this possible

chuck norris dosen’t ride horses Horses ride him

Three women- a blonde, a brunette and a redhead- are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two two hours later their vehicle dies with no gas and they’re forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them. The brunette brings canteens of water. The redhead takes a large beach umbrella. The Blonde somehow rips off the car door. The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?" To which the blonde replied, “So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot.”

what’s a turtles favorite thrill ride shell shock