Competition jokes

I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.

Why do Republican men hate transgender people?

Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!

Why can't Hitler join track?

Because he can't even finish a race.

I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning.

A depressing but satisfying victory.

Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?

Because he successfully finished a race!

How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?

He saw flashing lights.

Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."

Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."

Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."

Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."

Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*

What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.

Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.

"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.

"Boxing?"

"No, ... hurdles."

I bet China can be the best baseball team. They took out the entire world with just a bat.

Have you heard of the current event in Africa? It’s called the Hunger Games.

I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs.

Gravity sure is fast.

When you lose a game of Kahoot, so you kashoot up the school.

What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.

Chuck Norris and Time had a race.

Result: Time is still running...

What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?

They both came in a little behind.

Who's the best at musical chairs?

Stephen Hawking.