Competition jokes
Why did the lettuce win the race?
God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!
The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."
The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
What did Amtrak say at the Olympics?
I AM keeping Trak!
What's a darts player's favorite drink? One hundred and eight-tea!
How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.
How does a rapper start a race?
With a ready, set, FLOW!
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.
Where would the next Formula race happen?
Answer: On your flat chest.
Russia vs. Ukraine is the ultimate CS:GO match ever!
Why did the rapper bring a broom on stage?
To sweep the competition!
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
Every time my cousin and I, we settle it out with our game, so we play rock paper scissors. 😂🤣🤣
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
Why does Stephen Hawking need some screens?
He needs to win those Fortnite tournaments and get to Champions League.
Girl: Hi (flirt)
Boy: Hi? (reluctant)
Girl: I'm a cheerleader captain, I'm also single (flirt).
Boy 2: Excuse me?! He's MY MAN...
What's a boxer's favorite drink? A punch. 🥤🥤
I saw a trophy in my sister's room. So I said congratulations on your cheer leading. My sister said I didn't win the trophy for cheer leading, so I asked why. My sister said I won because I give the best jobs.