Competition jokes
I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
Why do Republican men hate transgender people?
Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning.
A depressing but satisfying victory.
Why can't Hitler join track?
Because he can't even finish a race.
How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."
Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."
Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."
Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."
Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*
Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?
Because he successfully finished a race!
Chuck Norris and Time had a race.
Result: Time is still running...
What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.
What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.
The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.
I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.
"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.
"Boxing?"
"No, ... hurdles."
I bet China can be the best baseball team. They took out the entire world with just a bat.
When you lose a game of Kahoot, so you kashoot up the school.
Have you heard of the current event in Africa? It’s called the Hunger Games.
I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs.
Gravity sure is fast.
What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.