Competition jokes

I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.

Why do Republican men hate transgender people?

Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!

Why can't Hitler join track?

Because he can't even finish a race.

I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning.

A depressing but satisfying victory.

How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?

He saw flashing lights.

Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?

Because he successfully finished a race!

Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."

Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."

Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."

Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."

Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*

What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.

Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.

"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.

"Boxing?"

"No, ... hurdles."

I bet China can be the best baseball team. They took out the entire world with just a bat.

Have you heard of the current event in Africa? It’s called the Hunger Games.

I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs.

Gravity sure is fast.

When you lose a game of Kahoot, so you kashoot up the school.

What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.

Chuck Norris and Time had a race.

Result: Time is still running...

What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?

They both came in a little behind.

Who's the best at musical chairs?

Stephen Hawking.