Sun jokes
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.
What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?
A Milky Way 😱
🌍: You're so hot!
🌎: How are you single?
☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!
What holds the sun ☀️ up in the sky?
Sunbeams.
Why doesn’t the sun ☀️ go to college?
Because it has a million degrees.
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
Why is the sun mad at the clouds?
The clouds keep throwing shade.
Look at the bright side!
The worst is behind us.
Q: How can you tell the sun is a boy?
A: It rises every morning.
If I were an object in this world, I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping, I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days, I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die, I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food, I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature, I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up, shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses, my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an extremely powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shitty book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce, and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape, but the more they try, the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety.
Help me....
you.
Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"
Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.
I stayed up all night trying to follow the sun... Then it dawned on me.
The whole solar system is one big family, right? But everyone circles the sun.
How to learn your Vitamins:
A = Art.
B = Bouncy Balls.
C = Cookies.
D = Da Sun.
You'll be smarter than a doctor next time you visit!
The sun isn’t the only thing that rose up this morning...
What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!
Why is the sun lit?
Because it has much solar.
"Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
My respect for you didn't just go through the roof, it touched the fucking sun!