Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.
When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.
Why can't white people go to Blackpool? Cuz they're not black.
Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
Why can’t orphans build anything?
Because they can’t go to Home Depot.
Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?
He would take him to a "pignic."
Why did the ass go to therapy?
It couldn't deal with all the crap.
What's the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Their kneecaps.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? The front desk always asks, “Where are your parents?”
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?
They can go through 100 floors in 7 seconds.
Chris said to me in P.E. that he likes Jacob, and he said he wants to go straight to the bedroom.
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
Yo mama so fat, when she was just there, she made the whole earth go back to the ice age!
Your forehead is so big, when you go to the toilet, it bends. You stooped.
People go to places to see Harry Potter live, but you can just go to the abortion place and see something disappear.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Isabell?
Isabell really needs to go on a bicycle.
Jack is a ugly meany who’s not going to my birthday!
What's the similarity between your money and your life?
It just keeps going down.
Damn, the guy who made the "Whip/Nae Nae" song really made his cousin go Silento.
Me: Hey, are you going to Sawcon?
Sensei: What is that?
Me: Saw con deez nu...
Sensei: Oh, is it for people with ligma?
Me: What’s ligm...
Sensei: 😈
Me: no no no no
Sensei: Ligma ba...
