Drive

Drive Jokes

Pedophile

Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they drive slow through school zones.

Job

I did a good job and walk walk home and walk walk to the car and drive. What is the difference between a good [what]?

Time

What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?

Time to get in trouble!

Choice

Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!

Man

Three drunk men get in a taxi. The driver knew they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off. The first man gave him the money. The second man thanked him, but the third man slapped the driver. The driver, surprised that he noticed, asked why, and the third man replied with, "Why did you drive so fast?"

Hate

I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.

Fish

Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"

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  • Manual

    I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.

    Hooker

    Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.