Drive jokes
How did Stephen Hawking please his woman? He uses a hard drive.
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they drive slow through school zones.
What time is it when you can drive home from phone?
I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
I did a good job and walk walk home and walk walk to the car and drive. What is the difference between a good [what]?
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
What does Mickey's wife drive?
A Minnie-Van!
Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!
Three drunk men get in a taxi. The driver knew they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off. The first man gave him the money. The second man thanked him, but the third man slapped the driver. The driver, surprised that he noticed, asked why, and the third man replied with, "Why did you drive so fast?"
I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.
Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.