Drive jokes
What does Mickey's wife drive?
A Minnie-Van!
What time is it when you can drive home from phone?
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they drive slow through school zones.
Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building, so he had a much better flying record.
How did Stephen Hawking please his woman? He uses a hard drive.
What is the difference between a house and a car? A car can drive and a house can not drive.
I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why did the boy get run over?
Sally was driving.
Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men. That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.
Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!
I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human being is the one who can drive.
Three drunk men get in a taxi. The driver knew they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off. The first man gave him the money. The second man thanked him, but the third man slapped the driver. The driver, surprised that he noticed, asked why, and the third man replied with, "Why did you drive so fast?"