Mountain

Mountain Jokes

Suicide

So, a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him. He was about to jump until he saw from a mountainside a little guy with no arms dancing around. So he thought, "Maybe my life ain't so bad." So he went to the mountainside. "Thank you," he said, "I was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until I saw you dancing, even though you have no arms. Dancing?" the armless man said bitterly, "My asshole itches and I can't scratch it."

Area

Why are mountains never serious?

Because they’re hill areas.

Area

Why don’t mountains take things seriously?

Because they’re hill areas.

Abuse

Why does my dad hate me? Really, please tell me, I'm tired of the constant abuse and pain.

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  • Faith

    Jesus Christ said my faith can move mountains, so Mohammed said my faith can move skyscrapers.

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  • Slide

    Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.

    The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”

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  • People

    How many people can jump higher than a mountain? None. Mountains can't jump.

    Doctor

    Why did the doctor tell the man to go for a mountain walk?

    Alps clear the mind! Haha.