Dad jokes

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

Why are orphans bad at dad jokes?

Because they don't have a dad to tell them.

Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?

Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.

Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?

Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.

Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"

Son: Dad, I need a new butt.

Dad: Why, son?

Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.

My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"

I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.

AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!

My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.

Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!

This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were just texting.

Why shouldn't you trust trees? Because they seem shady.

Why does an orphanage have milk?

Because Dad never came back with the milk.

Stolen dad jokes: "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."

Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo dad is so hairy, people chased him because they thought he was Bigfoot.

You know what orphans and I have in common? Our dads both left for the milk.

"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."

Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black.

I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!

When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Dad!

Dad who?

Silence.