Two guys were walking down the street and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any Blond in the world into giving him a Blowjob, any Blond! So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said alright let's see it! The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, Hi my names Dave and my Doctor just told me that if I didn't get a Blowjob from a Blond within three hours that the disease I have will kill me in 'oh less see now 22 minutes! She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says pull it out! 10 minutes later the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out! So he walks over to her and says I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friends life?! So she looks up him just crying her eyes out even worse and says" I could have saved my dad!"
When you say to your dad ............................... AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! DAD BE LIKE ....... WHO WANTS MY SON NAN BE LIKE ME KID BE LIKE ........AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX WHAT ARE ROUX SAYS NAN UM THERE YOUR LIFE SAVINGS NAN BE LIKE LETS GET SOME ROUX
me my brother and my dad
dad: "honey ill be right back i need to get some papers " me: "ok" falls asleep.. *wakes up in an adoption center* damn it was those kind of papers..
This kid was going to sleep and h said night mum night dad and night gramma and bye grandpa next morning grandpa died and the next night he said night dad night mum night grandma and gramma died the next morning and the next night he said night mum bye dad and they heard the postman died bc he was the dad lol
Dad there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig and then I made pulled pork out of him
Son he is dinner
dad: what do ou call a crazy creeper
mom: shit idontknow... kid: crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr dad: tahtsmy bnoys!!!
My dad has unlucky.
daughter:where was i born Dad:Alabama daughter :that is nice mum:We have never been to Alabama Dad:RUN
girl- mom, meet my boyfriend mom- meet my boyfriend girls boyfriend- dad is that you are you back from the supermarket with milk mom's boyfriend- uh gtg
what's the difference between your dad and the mail man. nothing
Why can’t orthons eat at a family restaurant? Because then don’t have a mom or dad
i was noughty ar school and my teacher said shes going to tell my dad i was like whos tht
your hairlines less straight than my dads💇
my dad died in 9-11 he was the best piolt
"How do celebrities stay cool?"
"They have many fans."
Mom: son where is my condoms son: what are condoms DAD: she puts it on me and the sandwich son: wait why did my girlfriend come over and take one dad: um I don't know but go to bed son: but it's 2:46pm in the afternoon bruh
why are orphan so scared of the dark the dad cant check the closet for them.
so my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child i was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me i was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friends uncle killed my dad . the kid was never seen again . her name was Madeleine McCann i think im the only one who knows where she is but overall the head from the hooker was good
i was at the club and thin my Dad walked up and said your 15 why are you high and at the club so i ran then my uncle was at the car and took me home so i was grouned then my boy friend came bc my parents wet out and we had sex and we where very loud my dad came home and walked in he had my bf pin me agenst the wall so my dad could spank me
