My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store?Silly daddy
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back. ANDI still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES.
This isn't a joke my dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago he still hasn't returned should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year
Knock Knock! Who’s there? Dad! Dad Who? Silence
When phone ringing Dad says ‘If it’s for me don’t answer it.’
I got raped when I was 5 in my princess pajamas by my dad nobody laughed at these jokes they just cried
son: yo dawg, tell me a story dad: yall motherfuckers aint gon believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a kfc, and comes out with wings, chicken wings. Also why did hawking try to walk across the road, his wheelchair only goes 1 mph so he got hit by a bus.
Kid: I'm hungry Dad Bot: hi hungry, I'm dad Teenager: I'm t l e r did nothing wrong Dad Bot: hi t l e r did nothing wrong, I'm dad Nazi: finally
My dad told me a story today his mom my grandma said if a bird gets in ur house someone will die . That day a humming bird got in his U.P.S truck and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later she died .😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
lol I keep stealing my dad's medication money and the best part is he never remembers.
rOpe: hEy buddY! wanT to hAng? me: mAYbe i cAn hAnG LaTer... cOCk: can i HaVe attenCioN froM youR dAd nOw?--
Girl: i like girls Dad: ok? Girl 2: i like girls too Dad: okay so who likes boys?! Boy: i do
Bob: Siri, call 666! *dialing noises* Bob: Hello? Bob's dad: Hi!
How can you tell when you’re sister is on her period?
Your dads knob tastes funny
Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?" Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me." The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything." The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too."
What’s worse than banging your sister
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring
Whats one thing ur dad shares wit black men? Ur sister.
I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.
"Dad, did you get a haircut?" "No, I got them all cut!"
Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.