Dad

Dad Jokes

My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store?Silly daddy

I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back. ANDI still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES.

This isn't a joke my dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago he still hasn't returned should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year

I got raped when I was 5 in my princess pajamas by my dad nobody laughed at these jokes they just cried

6

son: yo dawg, tell me a story dad: yall motherfuckers aint gon believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a kfc, and comes out with wings, chicken wings. Also why did hawking try to walk across the road, his wheelchair only goes 1 mph so he got hit by a bus.

1

Kid: I'm hungry Dad Bot: hi hungry, I'm dad Teenager: I'm t l e r did nothing wrong Dad Bot: hi t l e r did nothing wrong, I'm dad Nazi: finally

My dad told me a story today his mom my grandma said if a bird gets in ur house someone will die . That day a humming bird got in his U.P.S truck and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later she died .😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?" Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me." The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything." The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too."