Calendar jokes
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?
Because he lost May!
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.
Why was everybody so tired on April 1st? Because they just finished a March of 31 days!
I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!
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People were talking and asking what's the worst day of the year for them.
Person 1: "The first day of school because I don't like going to school."
Person 2: "Valentine's day because it's too lovey."
Me: "Oh nice, mine is my birthday because it's when I was born."
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.
If an orphan tells you there's 365 days in a year, tell them for you it's only 363 days because you skip Father's Day and Mother's Day.
What is the smartest month?
April - No one can fool it.
Can February march? -- No, but April may.
Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months?
He lost May.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
Son: Dad, Dad, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!
Dad: What's wrong? Are you OK?!
Son: Mia asked me out on a date on February 30th!
Dad: 'Cause there's no February 30th?
Orphans only have 363 days because they don't have Mother's or Father's Day.
Man: I got fired from my job at the calendar factory.
Lady: What did you do?
Man: I took a day off...
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.
Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. What the fuck? Saturday.
Why do orphans only have 363 days?
They don’t have Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"
Spiderman: "Yes."
Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."
Spiderman: "Why?"
Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."
Why is April the smartest month?
It can never be fooled.
When you're 34, it'll be 420 months before you turn 69 years old.