if a toy from toy story died, the kid wouldn't know and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some marijuana. Jack got high and slapped her thigh and said you know you wanna. Jill said yes pulled down her dress and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
Anyone else on here looking at depressing jokes to make themselves feel better? Not that it's working, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Well, enough with the sob story, I gotta go get my razors. See ya in the long run.
Me walking in to the office: Principle: tell me what u did? Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was a end portal....
If you watch jaws backwards it's a heartworming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people
whats the one thing me and the new years ball have in common
its not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this new years
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky. Silly Jill forgot her pill. And now there's little Franky.
Did you hear about the guy who got his left side chopped off?
Well he’s all right now!
I was reading a book about an immortal dog yesterday...
It was impossible to put down
billie: hi
me: you wanna hear a story?
billie: yes sure
me: once upon a time, i ran over your dog last night.
Jack and jill went up a hill so Jack could eat her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c*** because Jills real name is Randy
My initials are K.M.C
Which could also stand for Kill Main Character.
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall
Person 1:“Hey today was great” Person 2:“What happened” Person 1:“I ran into my ex today” Person 2:“What’s so great about that?” Person 1:“I was in my car”
Did you know there was a record for quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds
English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre.Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée !”
I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just viben, he was telling ever guy that walked by if his dick was bigger then theirs they have to give him 50 bucks long story short I walked away with 100 bucks that day
Hellen keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.
