Aed jokes
Man 1: Why don’t we just put all the debt in the world on one man, then kill him?
Man 2: We tried that once. It started a cult.
My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.
Until I threw a watermelon in her face.
Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?
To take care of his erectile dysfunction.
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.
I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."
Q: What comes before 47?
A: AK
Define abnormal life.
Waking up every day living a sane life!
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
Rizz,
Are you a biographer? Cause I picture us together.
Can I take a picture of you for I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
No pen, no paper, you still draw my attention.
You know what I hate about math? They always talk about x and y, but not about u and i.
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.
His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."
There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."
A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?
I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.
I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.
What do you call a Muslim guy in a bathtub?
A bath bomb 💣
I was in a library and a black guy came up to me.
"Where's the coloured printer?" he said.
"Mate, it's 2025, you can use any printer you want," I replied.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
When a midget smokes weed, does it get medium?
I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking.
But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?
My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.