Aed jokes

Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in, his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said, “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said, “That was the sound of the north wind.” The next day his teacher asked the class, “What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said, “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”

What do KFC and pussy have in common?

Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.

Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.

His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."

My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.

I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking.

But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?

I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.

There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."

A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?

I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.

My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

Why don't black lives matter anymore?

Because a harvester is more efficient at picking crops than slaves.

What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?

"What's up, cock?"

I was in a library and a black guy came up to me.

"Where's the coloured printer?" he said.

"Mate, it's 2025, you can use any printer you want," I replied.

Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?

He was a great veterinarian.

When a midget smokes weed, does it get medium?

A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.

Rizz,

Are you a biographer? Cause I picture us together.

Can I take a picture of you for I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

No pen, no paper, you still draw my attention.

You know what I hate about math? They always talk about x and y, but not about u and i.

Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.

There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.

What do you call a bus full of transgender men? T-Mobile.

I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.

It was a touching story.

What do you call a crowd of horny white women?

A field of cotton waiting to be picked.