Aed jokes
Q: What's an emo's favourite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
Q. Why did the emo not like his AirBnB?
A. There wasn't enough carbon monoxide in the suite.
Why did I get a divorce, you ask? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't get me a present and didn't even wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my co-workers didn't wish me a happy birthday.
As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" That moment, I felt so special. She then asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?"
"Okay," I said.
She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, and my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
11:45 - Arrived at crime scene.
11:45 - Examined body. Signs of struggle.
11:45 - Found murder weapon in drain.
11:45 - Realized watch was broken.
Jeffrey Epstein was a disgusting person, but he could tie a good hangman's knot.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Mountain Dew was a real mountain.
I met a lewd nude in Bermuda
Who thought she was shrewd: I was shrewder;
She thought it quite crude
To be wooed in the nude;
I pursued her, subdued her, and screwed her.
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a police officer?
Because he can't use a walkie-talkie.
Why do you not go to a gay man's BBQ?
Because the hotdogs taste like shit.
I was watching the news and heard a segment about a blind hooker who got stabbed 40 times.
At least she didn't see it coming.
Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
Hahahahahahahaha what a knee slapper!
My friend said she wanted to fly, so I pushed her off a building.
People who are bothering Gwen, stop. This is a joke site, and you guys should know that!
People, she is not even 40 or whatever. I see the comments, and they are so stupid. Do you even know her in life? No!!! Shut up and leave her alone!
My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.
Your forehead is so big, you look like Megamind but with no superpower, just a big forehead!
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
"Just ditched a woman. Feelin' good!" -Techno
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."
A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.
I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!