Aed jokes
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.
Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
What is an example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
Q: What movie do emos relate the most to?
A: Suicide Squad.
You're the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you.
Yo mama is so dumb, when she had a brain scan, the result was 404...
Have you ever had a bad sausage? It's the wurst.
10/7 is probably a spinoff of 9/11.
You can't convince me otherwise.
Q: What are women better than men at doing?
A: Winning arguments.
Q: What are men better than women at doing?
A: Winning swimming titles.
Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.
Coworker, why is Sara so blue?
Is it because Sara wishes she had a man? coworker she always watches you with your husband together out of love. You better watch out dear, she might "saraorize" him, with her crooked teeth and ultra-thin lips.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Yes, because a house doesn’t jump.
There is a room of men: Jamal, David, and Afzul. "Jamal is black," "David is white," and "Afzul is a Pakistani." Who set off the bomb?
Afzul, it's clearly him cause he's a Pakistani...
Life is like a penis.
Women make it hard.
Robber 1: *gets shot in ass*
Robber 2: You have to shit in a bag for life lol.
Robber 1: What, the Tesco or Asda one?
Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"
The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"
He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."
Ok, here's a story about the church.
There were two parents, then they had a baby. Then they go to the church and the baby was getting a cross on his forehead. Guess he was big headed. Sorry if this offends anyone or makes this joke bad since I keep writing this.
What do you call a terrorist in a bath?
A bath bomb.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.