Aed jokes

I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression...

Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.

You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.

A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.

Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?

From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.

What do you call a crowd of horny white women?

A field of cotton waiting to be picked.

What do you call a bus full of transgender men? T-Mobile.

What do KFC and pussy have in common?

Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.

Why did the orphan like to jump? So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with their parents.

1 like = 10 more orphans in my basement.

One hat told another hat to stay behind, and he will go on a-head.

What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?

"What's up, cock?"

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

I now have $999,999.75.

Where did the sheep get a haircut?

At the baa-baa shop.

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island, and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.

The redhead swam, trying to make it to the other shore. She swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.

The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.

The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.

Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?

Their focus is always off.

One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.

I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"

I got arrested for raping a girl. Its so unfair, i really thought she was dead.

If Stephen Hawking is dying, where do I take him, Currys PC World, or a hospital?

What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!

So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.

He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.