Aed jokes
Why did the orphan like to jump? So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with their parents.
1 like = 10 more orphans in my basement.
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.
I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression...
Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.
You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.
A leaf and a depressed kid fall from a building. Which hits the ground first?
The leaf, the rope stops the depressed kid.
What do you call a sneaky child molester?
Incogpedo.
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."
A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"
One hat told another hat to stay behind, and he will go on a-head.
I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked if I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily, I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt, and he disappeared. Shame on you, Penaldo.
What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.
My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.
Until I threw a watermelon in her face.
Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?
To take care of his erectile dysfunction.
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.
They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”
My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.
I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."
Define abnormal life.
Waking up every day living a sane life!