Aed jokes
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar.
Oh, is that how he ended up in a wheelchair?
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a police officer?
Because he can't use a walkie-talkie.
Donald Trump is so smart he got to take a cognitive test 4 times.
And if you think that's impressive, wait until you hear how many times he got to retake first grade.
Why was Hitler banned from Formula One?
He could never finish a race.
What's a Mexican's favorite song?
"I Walk the Line."
What do you call a pool full of disabled people?
Vegetable soup.
What do Humpty Dumpty and Ace from KISS have in common?
They both had a great fall.
At the drive-thru window:
"I'd like a Big Mac without soup, please!"
"We don't serve soup here!"
"Well, I didn't order any!"
1, 2, Freddy's coming for you.
3, 4, better lock your door.
5, 6, grab a crucifix.
7, 8, stay up late.
9, 10, never sleep again.
I love this song, y'all! Like if you love it too! :)
What kind of fruit can fix your toilet?
A plum-mer.
What is a snake’s favourite subject?
Hiss-tory!
Yo mama is so hairy that she uses a lawn mower to shave.
What do pedophiles and guitars have in common?
They both fingered A minor.
Why were the Twin Towers mad at 9/11?
They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
So I was sitting on my couch, watching this homophobic TV show all about "straight and great". But then I remember, "Aren't I part of the LGBTQ?"
So I say, "Oh my God, let's throw it out the window because that would be a good idea!" But then it gets run over by 123,456,789 cars. It gave me a $150,000 fine. Guess I'm broke.
Q. When is it bedtime at Jeffrey Epstein's house? A. When the big hand touches the little hand.
What do you get when you cross Freddie Mercury and Dracula?
A dead man with AIDS.
What do you get when you cross a blonde chick and a garden tool?
A dumbass hoe.
What would Patrick be if he was a dumbass and an autistic person?
A dumbism star.
What do you call an autistic person who is a dumbass? A dumbism.