Aed jokes
I watched a potato farmer get arrested the other day.
She kept yelling, "Do you know who I yam?"
Two sperms are racing towards the ovaries. One looks at the other and says, "Are we there yet?"
The other says, "No, we’ve got a long way to go. We’ve only passed the tonsils."
What does a mermaid do when she gets hurt?
Goes to the nurse shark.
What do you call a dancing chair?
Ring around a Rosie.
What do you call a disabled man with a gun?
"Special forces."
Today a canvasser came to my door asking if I wanted to make a donation to protect women in the Congo.
I told her no.
The canvasser got a little upset with me and said, "Don't you know that the Congo is the rape capital of the world?"
"Then they should be used to it by now," I replied.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
If you are a female pedo, I am looking for you.
And if you want, I'll give you my wand.
Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a bus.
What do you call a puffer fish? A fish!
Pee-wee Herman was in the army... until he got a dishonorable discharge!
What's big, black, and lights up when you touch it?
A phone.
What do you call a stupid bear?
The bear that's gonna give this an explanation, and he's dumb.
What do you call a donkey with no feet?
A horse.
What's a Jew's favorite drink?
Mountain Jew.
Why did the chicken cross the road, when it should stay on a farm?
What’s the difference between Jane Doe and a train tunnel?
A train tunnel doesn’t get any wider when you rail it.
Gordon Ramsay isn't a racist. If a team screws up, he screams at every person equally—no matter what their skin color.
Who's a rapper that likes to walk around naked?
Nudacris.
What do you get when you cross a car with a woman?
A transmission that never shifts.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a lollipop?
A cocksucker.