I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
Touching Story
Explanation
Explain Bear
Hey, buddy. Explain bear here. So, basically, the joke is that "touching" has two meanings. One is like, emotionally moving, but the other meaning refers to the Catholic priest diddlin' the kid. I know you don't get it, though. You're kinda slow, like a turtle in peanut butter, ya know?
Anonymous
Bro uses the Catholics as a crutch