History jokes
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
My mom telling me the brief history of the blanket and how she received it from her cousin. ( ╹▽╹ )
Me sitting anxiously in place pretending to be amazed by the story, and reacting with kind cheerfulness and a big smile. (◍•ᴗ•◍)
All I can actually think about: "I m@sturbated under it- aaaaaah" ಠ◡ಠ
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.
Why do I support slavery?
Because I’m white.
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
Simpsons.
Meet the Simpsons.
They're the greatest modern family.
From the town of Springfield.
They're a page right out of history.
Do you know why God created wars? To teach Americans geography.
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.
What is Hitler's favorite game?
Nahtzee.
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
I named my iPod "Titanic." It's syncing now.
If you think about it, the 9/11 memorial is just a scoreboard.
Why can't orphans learn about Ancient Egypt? Because they won't know what a mummy is.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.
What did Hitler say when he was blindfolded?
I can Nazi!
I looked up "I have whiplash" on WebMD, and it diagnosed me with slavery.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?” I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction."
1. Full name: John.
2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.
3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.
4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.
5. Mental health: mentally retarded.
6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.
7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.
8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.
9. Working motivation: none.
I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.
Why was Hitler born? Because he got killed.