History jokes
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
Why can't orphans learn about Ancient Egypt? Because they won't know what a mummy is.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
Do you know why God created wars? To teach Americans geography.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.
Memes
thanks for the information
Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?
Because the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population.
My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction."
What is Hitler's favorite game?
Nahtzee.
Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr. Baker was probably a baker. Mr. Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr. Dickinson...
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.
Why do I support slavery?
Because I’m white.
I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.
Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:
Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"
My mom telling me the brief history of the blanket and how she received it from her cousin. ( ╹▽╹ )
Me sitting anxiously in place pretending to be amazed by the story, and reacting with kind cheerfulness and a big smile. (◍•ᴗ•◍)
All I can actually think about: "I m@sturbated under it- aaaaaah" ಠ◡ಠ
Simpsons.
Meet the Simpsons.
They're the greatest modern family.
From the town of Springfield.
They're a page right out of history.
I screamed "Jenga" today in class while watching a 9/11 documentary.
Your hairline's so far back even Rosa Parks refused to sit there.
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.