Why can't orphans learn about Ancient Egypt? Because they won't know what a mummy is.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
I screamed "Jenga" today in class while watching a 9/11 documentary.
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler.
He sure was a popular guy. Everywhere he went, people shouted “Hi Hitler” and gave him a little wave.
What do Michaelangelo and Hitler have in common?
They both used their brain to paint the ceiling
Watching the 9/11 documentaries just watching a kill cam
Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr Baker was probably a baker. Mr Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr Dickinson....
I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction".
What is Hitler's favorite game?
Nahtzee
Do you know why God created wars? To teach Americans geography.
Where did Hitler send kids with ADHD? Concentration camp.
Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?
Because there were too many knights.
Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F Kennedy very wise presidents?
They both had an open mind.
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and settles on their land.
Why are people in Japan always skinny?
Because last time there was a Fat Man, a whole city disappeared.
