Emergency

Emergency Jokes

My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like

A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says "what about the children" the rabbi says "fuck the children" and the Priest says "do you think we'll have time

8

I have an EpiPen

Friend gave it to me when he was as dying

It seemed really important to him that I have it

2

*Titanic was sinking. Passenger: How far are we from land? Captain: Two miles. Passenger: Which direction? Captain: Down.

9

I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.

8

A boy and his mother survived a car crash. The boy asks his mother "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."

0

What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?

McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.

7

You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.

One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.

I was watching the local chief police in America, he said we will never forget 911. I thought i should hope not its your phone number.

3

pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die

passengers: *start freaking out*

pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when

passengers: *sigh with relief*

pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain