Why did the boy put the potatoes 🥔 on the kitchen floor?
He wanted to mash potatoes!
Potato Jokes
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, "Mark, what would you like to eat?" Mark said, "I'd like some fucking potatoes." *SMACK*! Mother slapped Mark. She then asked Suzie, "What would you like to eat?" "Well, I'd like some fucking potatoes," said Suzie. *SMAACK*! She slapped Suzie. "Okay, Johnny, what would you like to eat?" "Well.... I sure as hell don't want no fucking potatoes."
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They come across an old shack with three burlap sacks. They each hop into one of them. The police come and kick the one with the brunette in it. She goes, "Mew, mew." The police say, "Oh, it's just a bag of kittens." Then they kick the one with the redhead. "Woof, woof." They think, "Oh, it's just a bag of puppies." Then they kick the one with the blonde in it. She goes, "POTATOES!!" And gets arrested.
What do you call a baby potato?
Small fry!
What did the potato say when the sweet potato told it to hurry?
I yam.
People are like potatoes.
We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
Commander: "Fire a warning shot."
Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."
Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."
Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*
Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"
English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée!”
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa
Potatoes
A french fry was talking to a potato, but the potato didn't understand what he was saying.
It was because he didn't speak French.
There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.
Don't worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head.
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
Roses are red, potato chips are savory...
The United States prison system is legalized slavery.
