Shark jokes
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!
Why couldn't the GREAT WHITE beat the HAMMERHEAD?
because the GREAT WHITE kept getting BONKED on the HEAD by the HAMMERHEAD!
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
What did one shark say to the other while eating a clownfish?
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
What does a mermaid do when she gets hurt?
Goes to the nurse shark.
Okay, I'm on my last nerve when people say "Water Shark Guy" and other things THAT ARE NOT MY NAME.
This is my name: watersharky!
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
What do you get when you goblin with a shark?
What's a shark's favorite sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish!
Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.
"Herishy, me lava u, why did u leave mee? Wahh wahh baby sharka, doodle do to to babyyy cutie pie..."
If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
How do you cook macaroni? With a shark-spoon-a-rooni!
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
People are like sharks; only the great ones are white.
I have a friend who recently stopped smoking, and the withdrawal was causing hallucination. He went to my house and thought there was a shark in the pond in my backyard. So, I would like to dedicate these lyrics to my friend: "I see a dreamer over there by the water!"
What did the seal say to the shark?
"Are you seal-iously going to eat me?"
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”