By using this site, you agree to its use of cookies. Read more

Whats the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?

The freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out

The teacher asked her class to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. “The sky is definitely blue.” “Very good Kevin,but the sky can also be blue or black.” the teacher replied. Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him. And picked Annie from the back of the room. “The grass is definitely green.” “Very good Annie, but it can also be brown.” Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally she called on him. “Mines more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?” “Why no Johnny why would you ask such a question?” She questioned. “Well if they don’t have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself.”

The othe day I was at a synagogue and I farted really loud. Everyone looked at me and I said,“What, a little gas never killed anyo-woops”

Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”

Gary and Steve are having sex and the phone rings. Steve goes to answer the phone and tells Gary, “Hey, Don’t finish yourself until I get back.” After returning from the other room, there is cum all over the bed and wall of the bedroom. “Jesus, Gary, I said not to finish yourself until I got back!” Gary turns to him and says, “I didn’t, I farted.”

Why didn’t anyone react when the king farted? – It was a noble gas.

a boss comes in and accidentally farts he says “a little gas never killed anyone!” the jewish man then left in tears

What did the maxi pad say to the fart? You are the wind beneath my wings

If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee, A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after awhile and says, “Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in”.

I DIDNT FART MY ASS LIKES YOU SO MUCH IT JUST BLEW YOU A KISS!

Some guy farts and says “That was some asshole behind me”.

My boss farted in front of a Jewish client. “A little gas never killed anybody.”

A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn’t need. Grenades, guns, ammo unless it was bolted down it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude. When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. “What’s so funny?”, he asks. “Daddy farted and the house blew up,” said a singed little boy.

A Japanese, Hispanic, and Iraqi man are in a plane. The Japanese man drops a bowl off of it, and shouts “I love my country!”, Then the Hispanic man drops a burrito off the side and shouts, “I love my country”, finally the Iraqi man drops a bomb, and shouts, “I love my country!”

Not much longer on, a man walks by a boy who is sitting by a crater laughing non-stop. And the man asks, “What’s so funny?” And the boy says “When I farted my house blew up!”

So we were working with a new client at work and my boss farts, he said "a little gas never killed anyone

What’s the difference between a gay and a freezer? – The freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.

Confusios Ssay “man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew”

love is like a fart if you have to force it, it’s probably shit.

According to all known laws of aviation,

there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little.

  • That girl was hot.
  • She’s my cousin!