How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.

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I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

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What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.

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What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin mobile.

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What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? – A pimp.

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How does Moses make his coffee?

Hebrews it.

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I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says. – Which makes me an eighth theist.

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Why does Jesus never vacation on earth?, because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick and their still talking about it

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What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A roamin’ Catholic.

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Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.

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What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? – American teenage girls get stoned before they have sex.

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Muslims love to exaggerate, that’s why they always blow things up.

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Where did Noah keep his bees? – In the ark hives.

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How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.

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What do you call it when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale.

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What’s the most fun a monk can have?

Nun.

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What do you call a drunken Muslim?

Mohammered.

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Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations?

Because they don’t believe in higher powers.

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how do you boil holy water?..you boil the hell out of it

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