Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? – American teenage girls get stoned before they have sex.
When I was little I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike, I learned one week in Sunday school that that’s not how it works, so instead i just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.