How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.

I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.

What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin mobile.

What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? – A pimp.

How does Moses make his coffee?

Hebrews it.

I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says. – Which makes me an eighth theist.

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A roamin’ Catholic.

Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.

What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? – American teenage girls get stoned before they have sex.

Muslims love to exaggerate, that’s why they always blow things up.

Where did Noah keep his bees? – In the ark hives.

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.

What do you call it when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale.

What’s the most fun a monk can have?

Nun.

What do you call a drunken Muslim?

Mohammered.

Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations?

Because they don’t believe in higher powers.

how do you boil holy water?..you boil the hell out of it