uymom

ayyy was up guys! please like and follow me for more daily awesome jokes!
Registered on · 3 followers · Last active 2 years ago

a favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather , that is until my mom took the urn away from me

Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

Please like this. I bet my friend 20 bucks that I would get to 15 likes before him.

What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?

An RCXD (remote control explosive).

*School shooting happens.*

Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk.*

American student: "First time?"

Foreign exchange student: "Yeah, you?"

American student: "Hahaha. No, not my first time."

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?

Because he got hit by a bus.

Me: hey do you want to meet my grandma? Friend: yeah sure Me: *pulls out gun*

a 14 year old girl finds out she is pregnant. her: " crap! my mom is going to kill me!"

the fetus : "lol same here"