uymom

@uymom

ayyy was up guys! please like and follow me for more daily awesome jokes!
Registered on · No followers yet · Last active 3 years ago

Morbid jokes

  • This chess game against America and England is getting interesting, first America lost both of its towers but now England has lost its queen

    Memory

  • A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.

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  • Condom

  • Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

    Please like this. I bet my friend 20 bucks that I would get to 15 likes before him.

    Short jokes

  • I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

    School shooting

  • *School shooting happens.*

    Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk.*

    American student: "First time?"

    Foreign exchange student: "Yeah, you?"

    American student: "Hahaha. No, not my first time."

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  • Bus

  • Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?

    Because he got hit by a bus.

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  • Gun

  • Me: Hey, do you want to meet my grandma?

    Friend: Yeah, sure.

    Me: *pulls out gun*

    Dark Humor

  • When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck 🛻💣

    Fetus

  • A 14 year old girl finds out she is pregnant. Her: "Crap! My mom is going to kill me!"

    The fetus: "lol same here."

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